I went driving in my car. Friday night. Diary of an occult resolution assistant
Friday 19:23
The door slide back with barely a sound on well greased runners and a faint click signalled the door fixing into place, then a double thunk of an electric control pronounced the auto lock function activating as the van reached for greater speeds in its desire to be somewhere else.
My eyes were shocked into unseeing by the acute contrast of day to nothingness, but my olfactory system was in finest working order and it was smelling new leather, plastics and petrol. A new car then, still with that fog of escaping vapours from newly fitted parts being kept shut and airless movement. And I'm unhurt - or at least no more hurt than I was when I got here - and still alive so pluses all round. But there is someone here, respiration was occurring loudly and it wasn't coming from me; I knew this for I had not drawn a breath for quite some time and as I gulped in a lungful of chemical scented air my companion on the journey seemed to recognise my presence and ignited a light.
Ignited was the right word because a sulphur smell fought for dominance over the plastics to command airspace in my nostrils; and the flickering light combusting around the head of the matchstick moved towards a face which held between thin lips a cigarette which glowed at its flat head as the lips owners enticed oxygen through it to bring it to smoking life.
The man, for it was obvious from what little information I had to hand - and eye - that he was definitely a he, reached forward from his seated position and tapped a smooth screen built into the rear headrest of the front passenger seat. A black glow from a computerised screen did nothing to enhance the current level of visibility; then if flashed into life and out of poor focus into crystal clarity came the image of Xanthic unmistakeably in sunglasses and slicked back hair.
"Valey, This here is Harahel, don't trust him one little bit but he needs you to do something for him and in turn for me. It won't take long and he'll have you back in the bosom of your little pals just as soon as he can, if you survive that is." He smiled and I hoped he was joking.
"Now, I am here because time is short and there isn't time for me to be there to talk to you and in the past Harahel hasn't made that good an impact on my aides; in fact rarely a good impression on any of my acquaintances and this seemed the least slow time of explaining your brief." Xanthic paused considering his words.
"What are you on about?" I said but Harahel put a finger to his lips stopping me from saying more.
"Its recorded, he can't answer you back. Although I doubt even a pre-recorded message will stop this one from having the last word or a sarcastic comment if the opportunity arises during your reactions." He said in a honey flowing Southern accent of impeccable breading and education.
".........and its surprisingly close to your current location, so be a dear and pop along and pick it up for me will you. I'll be there just as soon as I can so just keep it safe." Xanthic concluded and then he looked to the side and I could see the image of Harahel standing there as the camera was moved and then turned off.
I was glad when the internal lights in the vehicle came on and I could see Harahel and where I was. It was a well furnished van - my knowledge on motorised boxes with four wheels was extremely limited, on the same level as Fat Dave's topography of local salad bars and vegan restaurants. There was two cream leather chairs, well padded with deep seats and arm rests where I expected a bench seat to be. Thick carpets which was so soft to my touch like the softest of childhood teddy bears and inviting me to lay my face down upon it for a cuddle. The rest of the van was van, it mattered not; but the slim figure in tan chinos and highly polished black leather shoes topped with a casual pastel shade shirt with top two buttons open. Off blonde hair shoulder length but swept back giving a bounce movie star look and a gold rimmed acrylic pair of glasses perched on a strong pair of eyes as blue as a tropical atoll; very white skin as delicate as antique porcelain stretched across high cheek bones and a strong jaw. He did not look like a bad boy, more a junior banker but definitely not a Lloyds or NatWest deputy manager or a footballers accountant, so I was questioning why Xanthic would warn me about him in his first sentence; what kind of a person does a self confessed Demon have to warn someone about? If he had designer stubble he'll have gone straight to the top of my potential boyfriend list.
Harahel sucked in a lungful of smoke, and then I realised something very strange about him - one thing out of many, but the others weren't so obvious. None of the cigarette smoke had entered the passenger compartment of the van, not even a whiff drifted past my nose and nothing was emanating from either the tip of the damned thing or from the 'man' smoking it. You don't light eCigs do you?
"So where do you come in?" I asked addressing my abductor, what else would you call someone who collected you into a moving vehicle and locked the door no matter how soft his voice or attractive his visage - Man I have to get some kind of anti-kidnap insurance going on how oft I end up with strange men against my plans - "And what in God's name do you want me to do?"
"Please don't throw that name around without any conviction, I'm sure He won't appreciate it. All I require is you to go into a room, pick up a small package and bring it back out to me and for that I will pay Xanthic an extortionate amount of money and owe him a favour in return. The money is insubstantial and I hope it brings him what he wants, but its the favour I will be indebted to return that worries me; but you must know that this duty you have been volunteered for is of the utmost priority to me any my superiors and enough for me to be associating once more with our mutual acquaintance."
"I've missed something, and I feel its something important, What do you expect me to do because I have to tell you I'm not the most co-ordinated person and I often trip over my own shadow so if you want me to courier a priceless Ming vase or something then you had better have good insurance or a lot of super glue in the boot of this thing." I said not wanting to confirm any blagged qualifications Xanthic may have over stated about me. Trusted courier or professional acquirer I am not, trainee papergirl maybe or dog walker as long as you don't mind it coming back covered in mud or several hours late is about my limit. "And what kind of name is Harahel anyway? Are you one of the maggot wriggly ones or the flaming bat wing things? Nice choice of in-car music though so calming its almost making me believe I want to be here and haven't been pick up off the street like a crazy kerb crawler"
Harahel gave a snorting laugh.
"Call me Hal, Harahel is so stuffy and formal don't you think. And I cannot describe myself anything from your list or others that maybe floating in your head, I try to keep myself as removed from then as I possibly can when I can avoid it.
As far as your task, as I said you just have to walk in pick something up and walk out again. Don't say anything you shouldn't, don't turn around on your way out and whatever you do, don't touch anything inside other than the package and even then only hold onto it by the wrappings, just to be careful you understand We don't believe anything untoward would happen to you but we don't want to push our luck."
"Thanks, you're all heart." I said as sarcastically as I could manage without wanting to unduly upset anything that wasn't as human as the next man, and as I had a chance to look around the vehicle I noticed much to my distraction there was no 'next man' in here with us, the steering wheel was turning without the assistance of human - or otherwise - and the radio was well and truly off. Shit, I should have picked up on the music earlier but it's too late for kicking myself now because if this goes wrong Mr no-hair-out-of-place would do that for me.
"That's me, and it appears we are here. A car will be waiting for you when you come out but I have business and need to be elsewhere in case anything goes wrong."
The door unlocked and slide silently open and a chill wind blew in and I found myself in an open moor without tree or building higher than a small bush or stone wall running in parallel to the road. Colour was drained and washed out and it looked like the land wasn't making even the slightest effort to look welcoming.
"There you go, over there small door in that mound to the North. Pop down the steps and I'll hopefully see you in a short while. But here this may help point you in the right direction." Hal threw what looked like a mangled mess of brass curved plates and knobbly bits out of the door and it landed on the scrappy grassed turf. The door slid shut without any physical outside source acting upon it; and then the van drove off leaving me in the middle of no-where, dead central - shouldn't use those words as it felt I soon could be - of limbo. I bent down to pick up the brassy ringed thing and my hands closed upon a glossy white cardboard box, I opened it confused as this was not what I saw land but there was nothing else of interest on the floor for miles around. Inside was a plasticy looking smartwatch, all LCD screen and lights. On the screen was an arrow pointing North, or towards the mound at least.
With nothing else to do I adjusted my underwear through my trousers and patted down my damp armpits, slipped on the watch and marched off towards the mound. If there was magic here or any kind of Otherworldly power then the swears I uttered would really cause Xanthic to have a really bad day, and his knob to turn green and fall off.
The door slide back with barely a sound on well greased runners and a faint click signalled the door fixing into place, then a double thunk of an electric control pronounced the auto lock function activating as the van reached for greater speeds in its desire to be somewhere else.
My eyes were shocked into unseeing by the acute contrast of day to nothingness, but my olfactory system was in finest working order and it was smelling new leather, plastics and petrol. A new car then, still with that fog of escaping vapours from newly fitted parts being kept shut and airless movement. And I'm unhurt - or at least no more hurt than I was when I got here - and still alive so pluses all round. But there is someone here, respiration was occurring loudly and it wasn't coming from me; I knew this for I had not drawn a breath for quite some time and as I gulped in a lungful of chemical scented air my companion on the journey seemed to recognise my presence and ignited a light.
Ignited was the right word because a sulphur smell fought for dominance over the plastics to command airspace in my nostrils; and the flickering light combusting around the head of the matchstick moved towards a face which held between thin lips a cigarette which glowed at its flat head as the lips owners enticed oxygen through it to bring it to smoking life.
The man, for it was obvious from what little information I had to hand - and eye - that he was definitely a he, reached forward from his seated position and tapped a smooth screen built into the rear headrest of the front passenger seat. A black glow from a computerised screen did nothing to enhance the current level of visibility; then if flashed into life and out of poor focus into crystal clarity came the image of Xanthic unmistakeably in sunglasses and slicked back hair.
"Valey, This here is Harahel, don't trust him one little bit but he needs you to do something for him and in turn for me. It won't take long and he'll have you back in the bosom of your little pals just as soon as he can, if you survive that is." He smiled and I hoped he was joking.
"Now, I am here because time is short and there isn't time for me to be there to talk to you and in the past Harahel hasn't made that good an impact on my aides; in fact rarely a good impression on any of my acquaintances and this seemed the least slow time of explaining your brief." Xanthic paused considering his words.
"What are you on about?" I said but Harahel put a finger to his lips stopping me from saying more.
"Its recorded, he can't answer you back. Although I doubt even a pre-recorded message will stop this one from having the last word or a sarcastic comment if the opportunity arises during your reactions." He said in a honey flowing Southern accent of impeccable breading and education.
".........and its surprisingly close to your current location, so be a dear and pop along and pick it up for me will you. I'll be there just as soon as I can so just keep it safe." Xanthic concluded and then he looked to the side and I could see the image of Harahel standing there as the camera was moved and then turned off.
I was glad when the internal lights in the vehicle came on and I could see Harahel and where I was. It was a well furnished van - my knowledge on motorised boxes with four wheels was extremely limited, on the same level as Fat Dave's topography of local salad bars and vegan restaurants. There was two cream leather chairs, well padded with deep seats and arm rests where I expected a bench seat to be. Thick carpets which was so soft to my touch like the softest of childhood teddy bears and inviting me to lay my face down upon it for a cuddle. The rest of the van was van, it mattered not; but the slim figure in tan chinos and highly polished black leather shoes topped with a casual pastel shade shirt with top two buttons open. Off blonde hair shoulder length but swept back giving a bounce movie star look and a gold rimmed acrylic pair of glasses perched on a strong pair of eyes as blue as a tropical atoll; very white skin as delicate as antique porcelain stretched across high cheek bones and a strong jaw. He did not look like a bad boy, more a junior banker but definitely not a Lloyds or NatWest deputy manager or a footballers accountant, so I was questioning why Xanthic would warn me about him in his first sentence; what kind of a person does a self confessed Demon have to warn someone about? If he had designer stubble he'll have gone straight to the top of my potential boyfriend list.
Harahel sucked in a lungful of smoke, and then I realised something very strange about him - one thing out of many, but the others weren't so obvious. None of the cigarette smoke had entered the passenger compartment of the van, not even a whiff drifted past my nose and nothing was emanating from either the tip of the damned thing or from the 'man' smoking it. You don't light eCigs do you?
"So where do you come in?" I asked addressing my abductor, what else would you call someone who collected you into a moving vehicle and locked the door no matter how soft his voice or attractive his visage - Man I have to get some kind of anti-kidnap insurance going on how oft I end up with strange men against my plans - "And what in God's name do you want me to do?"
"Please don't throw that name around without any conviction, I'm sure He won't appreciate it. All I require is you to go into a room, pick up a small package and bring it back out to me and for that I will pay Xanthic an extortionate amount of money and owe him a favour in return. The money is insubstantial and I hope it brings him what he wants, but its the favour I will be indebted to return that worries me; but you must know that this duty you have been volunteered for is of the utmost priority to me any my superiors and enough for me to be associating once more with our mutual acquaintance."
"I've missed something, and I feel its something important, What do you expect me to do because I have to tell you I'm not the most co-ordinated person and I often trip over my own shadow so if you want me to courier a priceless Ming vase or something then you had better have good insurance or a lot of super glue in the boot of this thing." I said not wanting to confirm any blagged qualifications Xanthic may have over stated about me. Trusted courier or professional acquirer I am not, trainee papergirl maybe or dog walker as long as you don't mind it coming back covered in mud or several hours late is about my limit. "And what kind of name is Harahel anyway? Are you one of the maggot wriggly ones or the flaming bat wing things? Nice choice of in-car music though so calming its almost making me believe I want to be here and haven't been pick up off the street like a crazy kerb crawler"
Harahel gave a snorting laugh.
"Call me Hal, Harahel is so stuffy and formal don't you think. And I cannot describe myself anything from your list or others that maybe floating in your head, I try to keep myself as removed from then as I possibly can when I can avoid it.
As far as your task, as I said you just have to walk in pick something up and walk out again. Don't say anything you shouldn't, don't turn around on your way out and whatever you do, don't touch anything inside other than the package and even then only hold onto it by the wrappings, just to be careful you understand We don't believe anything untoward would happen to you but we don't want to push our luck."
"Thanks, you're all heart." I said as sarcastically as I could manage without wanting to unduly upset anything that wasn't as human as the next man, and as I had a chance to look around the vehicle I noticed much to my distraction there was no 'next man' in here with us, the steering wheel was turning without the assistance of human - or otherwise - and the radio was well and truly off. Shit, I should have picked up on the music earlier but it's too late for kicking myself now because if this goes wrong Mr no-hair-out-of-place would do that for me.
"That's me, and it appears we are here. A car will be waiting for you when you come out but I have business and need to be elsewhere in case anything goes wrong."
The door unlocked and slide silently open and a chill wind blew in and I found myself in an open moor without tree or building higher than a small bush or stone wall running in parallel to the road. Colour was drained and washed out and it looked like the land wasn't making even the slightest effort to look welcoming.
"There you go, over there small door in that mound to the North. Pop down the steps and I'll hopefully see you in a short while. But here this may help point you in the right direction." Hal threw what looked like a mangled mess of brass curved plates and knobbly bits out of the door and it landed on the scrappy grassed turf. The door slid shut without any physical outside source acting upon it; and then the van drove off leaving me in the middle of no-where, dead central - shouldn't use those words as it felt I soon could be - of limbo. I bent down to pick up the brassy ringed thing and my hands closed upon a glossy white cardboard box, I opened it confused as this was not what I saw land but there was nothing else of interest on the floor for miles around. Inside was a plasticy looking smartwatch, all LCD screen and lights. On the screen was an arrow pointing North, or towards the mound at least.
With nothing else to do I adjusted my underwear through my trousers and patted down my damp armpits, slipped on the watch and marched off towards the mound. If there was magic here or any kind of Otherworldly power then the swears I uttered would really cause Xanthic to have a really bad day, and his knob to turn green and fall off.
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