Going underground. The diary of an occult resolution assistant.
Wednesday then and now
The mound looked as it had when I first saw it; nothing about it looked disturbed - I was half expecting ripped earth and a passage dropping down with which an irate 'Master' with that big sword would be bounding along with revenge in his eyes. You cannot imaging my relief when this was not obviously present.
Hastings had on him a long straight sturdy branch that split into a 'Y' luckily for him at shoulder height. Luckily because in his atrophied state he could not find the strength to stand and his limbs, bent from an age of chain and stone, would not straighten, so he stood bent and crooked with his left arm through the division on his makeshift crutch. It was lucky to find it as the landscape was barren and seeing the comfort it gave him I guessed he may have brought it with him.
"Well." I said observing the emptiness of everything around us and in an attempt to raise my own spirits if not that of my new companion "At least the sun is shining." And it was, the Sun was much lower than I would have guessed and on the other side of the sky to where it was when I first arrived here; there was no car waiting and with a sinking heart I put two and two together making six and almost cried when the thought struck I had been down there for at least a day maybe more and I had missed my lift. Not only didn't I get what I was sent to retrieve but I've missed my lift and Xanthic and Hal are probably convinced I didn't get out and probably dead and as such I'm going to be stuck in the middle of no-where with a man so thin even skeleton's would consider him on the skinny side.
We settled down into a slow paced walk towards the horizon that led to where I thought I had come from; and from this crawl we watched the sun rise to its zenith and drop back down to Earth again and slip behind the edge. We hardly spoke, I did not know what to say and Hastings didn't have the energy; but we were comfortable in the silence leaning on each other for support.
At first I did not hear it, a gentle hum that came from the back ground but demanded attention as it grew louder and, I realised slowly, coming closer.
"Its a car." I screamed, and coughed with a dry throat from a dusty day and no water. "A bloody car coming this way."
Hastings smiled and looked around. "What under Heaven is that?" He replied croakily for the same reasons. "Some kind of beast?"
"Its a car, a car. A....." I tailed off confused. "Its a car." was all I could say to finish.
"When did you go down that hole?" I asked after a moments thought. "When do you think this is?"
"Why the year of our Lord 1328." He said looking puzzled. "And an errand to retrieve the Holy Grail was my task which led me to by befuddlement and confinement and then to my eternal joy my freedom at your hand. I cannot that you enough."
"You think its 1320 something?"
"No my Lady, alas I know it is not. I have witnessed many wondrous things and met people from lands not my own wearing all manner of clothes telling stories of fabulous things I could never have imagined."
"What people? I only saw you there, should we go back? Set up a rescue mission or something?" I had stopped, suddenly very weary with leaden feet.
"No, I fear it is far too late to help their poor souls." He hung his head and I felt his weight transfer onto my shoulder. "I at first tied to help them but I could not, after my confinement it was impossible and although I know not what fate many had I know that dark-hearted Gnome assisted in quickening their end."
We left the conversation there, neither willing to go further. The mood was lifted as the hum of the engine became a louder purr changing tones as gears were changed to cope with the rolling curves of a road laid to fit the landscape. Within an excitingly long short time the car came into sight and my heart leapt almost as high as I did, Hastings, dislocated from my shoulder fell to the floor but I continued to jump with joy as The Jag, not just any Jag, but my Jag, the good old Jag. Xanthic was coming to get me!"
It took an age for The Jag to actually reach us and I stayed on my aching feet the whole time out of fear we would not be seen as Xanthic as he sped along the road. The Jag performed a nerve wracking skid as it decelerated from what could easily have been over a hundred miles per hour to a complete stop in (and I walked the skid to make sure) 17 meters.
The drivers door opened and Xanthic, as casually as a movie star at a movie premier red carpet ceremony, swung his legs out of the car and rose to greet me. I didn't give him the chance and flung my arms around him hugging him tighter than ever; I did not care that he did not feel physically right, with bony bits and joints where humans should not have them (outside horror movie mad Doctor operations or serious accidents).
"I am so glad you are here." I cried over his shoulder. "How did you ever find me?"
"Don't be silly Vally." He said pushing me gently off him and holding me with his strong hands around my upper arms as he looked deeply into my eyes. "I always know where you are, you shine brighter than any star on the landscape with your rainbow." He ruffle my hair, "it comes straight out of there."
"And you fixed The Jag too." Tears of joy were rolling down my cheeks and falling to the ground in large splashes.
He looked questioningly at me as if I was mad (and to him we probably all are) "Who's your friend?"
I explained and he looked impressed. No, he actually looked extremely puzzled as I, in my haste, confused facts and omitted parts only to squeeze them in later.
"I need to get you to someone who needs to hear this." He said once I had finished "But you two I hope are good friends as this thing is only a two seater and I assume neither of you want to walk back to London."
So, with a lot of closeness, we got three people into a small Jag and as the car pulled away the snoring started within the car and my own grunt soon joined it.
Hastings had on him a long straight sturdy branch that split into a 'Y' luckily for him at shoulder height. Luckily because in his atrophied state he could not find the strength to stand and his limbs, bent from an age of chain and stone, would not straighten, so he stood bent and crooked with his left arm through the division on his makeshift crutch. It was lucky to find it as the landscape was barren and seeing the comfort it gave him I guessed he may have brought it with him.
"Well." I said observing the emptiness of everything around us and in an attempt to raise my own spirits if not that of my new companion "At least the sun is shining." And it was, the Sun was much lower than I would have guessed and on the other side of the sky to where it was when I first arrived here; there was no car waiting and with a sinking heart I put two and two together making six and almost cried when the thought struck I had been down there for at least a day maybe more and I had missed my lift. Not only didn't I get what I was sent to retrieve but I've missed my lift and Xanthic and Hal are probably convinced I didn't get out and probably dead and as such I'm going to be stuck in the middle of no-where with a man so thin even skeleton's would consider him on the skinny side.
We settled down into a slow paced walk towards the horizon that led to where I thought I had come from; and from this crawl we watched the sun rise to its zenith and drop back down to Earth again and slip behind the edge. We hardly spoke, I did not know what to say and Hastings didn't have the energy; but we were comfortable in the silence leaning on each other for support.
*
At first I did not hear it, a gentle hum that came from the back ground but demanded attention as it grew louder and, I realised slowly, coming closer.
"Its a car." I screamed, and coughed with a dry throat from a dusty day and no water. "A bloody car coming this way."
Hastings smiled and looked around. "What under Heaven is that?" He replied croakily for the same reasons. "Some kind of beast?"
"Its a car, a car. A....." I tailed off confused. "Its a car." was all I could say to finish.
"When did you go down that hole?" I asked after a moments thought. "When do you think this is?"
"Why the year of our Lord 1328." He said looking puzzled. "And an errand to retrieve the Holy Grail was my task which led me to by befuddlement and confinement and then to my eternal joy my freedom at your hand. I cannot that you enough."
"You think its 1320 something?"
"No my Lady, alas I know it is not. I have witnessed many wondrous things and met people from lands not my own wearing all manner of clothes telling stories of fabulous things I could never have imagined."
"What people? I only saw you there, should we go back? Set up a rescue mission or something?" I had stopped, suddenly very weary with leaden feet.
"No, I fear it is far too late to help their poor souls." He hung his head and I felt his weight transfer onto my shoulder. "I at first tied to help them but I could not, after my confinement it was impossible and although I know not what fate many had I know that dark-hearted Gnome assisted in quickening their end."
We left the conversation there, neither willing to go further. The mood was lifted as the hum of the engine became a louder purr changing tones as gears were changed to cope with the rolling curves of a road laid to fit the landscape. Within an excitingly long short time the car came into sight and my heart leapt almost as high as I did, Hastings, dislocated from my shoulder fell to the floor but I continued to jump with joy as The Jag, not just any Jag, but my Jag, the good old Jag. Xanthic was coming to get me!"
It took an age for The Jag to actually reach us and I stayed on my aching feet the whole time out of fear we would not be seen as Xanthic as he sped along the road. The Jag performed a nerve wracking skid as it decelerated from what could easily have been over a hundred miles per hour to a complete stop in (and I walked the skid to make sure) 17 meters.
The drivers door opened and Xanthic, as casually as a movie star at a movie premier red carpet ceremony, swung his legs out of the car and rose to greet me. I didn't give him the chance and flung my arms around him hugging him tighter than ever; I did not care that he did not feel physically right, with bony bits and joints where humans should not have them (outside horror movie mad Doctor operations or serious accidents).
"I am so glad you are here." I cried over his shoulder. "How did you ever find me?"
"Don't be silly Vally." He said pushing me gently off him and holding me with his strong hands around my upper arms as he looked deeply into my eyes. "I always know where you are, you shine brighter than any star on the landscape with your rainbow." He ruffle my hair, "it comes straight out of there."
"And you fixed The Jag too." Tears of joy were rolling down my cheeks and falling to the ground in large splashes.
He looked questioningly at me as if I was mad (and to him we probably all are) "Who's your friend?"
I explained and he looked impressed. No, he actually looked extremely puzzled as I, in my haste, confused facts and omitted parts only to squeeze them in later.
"I need to get you to someone who needs to hear this." He said once I had finished "But you two I hope are good friends as this thing is only a two seater and I assume neither of you want to walk back to London."
So, with a lot of closeness, we got three people into a small Jag and as the car pulled away the snoring started within the car and my own grunt soon joined it.
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